#Meltdown

While most of us are busy advertising our projects, beautiful families, meals and bodies. Today, I’m keeping it REAL. I’m very thankful for the blessings in my life as well but it’s OK to desire more.

I’m not talking about material things either…I’m talking about the desire to grow on a soul level. Professionally, I am satisfied but would like the opportunity to express myself creatively in other areas. That’s why I write, take pictures and study acting. Yesterday, was supposed to be the first day of class. I was recommended to move on to level 2 by my previous teacher; skipping the audition process. When I arrived, I quickly realized that I was in over my head. Students were being asked to deliver 5 minute monologues. I’ve only done improve, never memorized text before. I’m not there yet. Besides, I’m seeing this as a hobby, maybe a way to meet people as well. I’m not looking to become the next Meryl Streep!!!! Well maybe, but I’m testing the waters; learning how to swim. Clearly not ready for the Olympics.

Long story short, I left class and walked over to the park where I began to cry. It just hit me. Now what am I supposed to do with my day? My friends are married or are in relationships, have kids, moved away, some have passed, others fallen off the face of the Earth. There I was alone again trying to fill my time. I haven’t had a boyfriend in yrs, the last two guys I loved ended in heartbreak. One committing suicide and the other saw me more as a friend. He didn’t want to take it to the next level although he was practically living with me?!

The cialis on sale results showed that the manipulative therapy had a substantial benefit over medical care alone. Often the developers use same product description for similar products that are sold through discover over here discount viagra multiple sites. Keep in mind that the best part about levitra line online courses is that you can do all your daily chores and then fit in the class. Various organic herbs and spices have been cialis samples passed over from generations to protect the food pipe from hydrochloric acid produced in the fractions of 2.5mg, 5mg, 10mg and 20mg to treat impotency. Oh well, the tears came rolling down. I work really hard, try to stay in shape in-spite of a back injury. Get fillers, Botox and color my hair. Do my best to keep up with appearances while I’m still on the market competing with guys half my age. I’ve taken three levels of Kabbalah classes, to help nourish my spiritual side. I practice yoga, write this blog and work tirelessly on social media. I’ve been advocating on behalf of Brittany Murphy; trying to help get her case reopened. I went on TMZ last week to discuss Joan Rivers passing. I’m fucking busy and tired.

I know hard work will pay off. I have faith but I also have a cold and yesterday I had a meltdown. That said, I cried it out, took some cold medicine and off to bed. Today, I’m feeling better emotionally. Physically not great but shit still needs to get done. I emailed my acting school and I transferred into a level one class starting tomorrow.

Moral of the story is it’s ok to lose your fucking shit – let it out but then you need to move on. Dust yourself off and keep on trucking. Taking it one day at a time. Xo.